The Art of Manning Up

So you all remember my friend Richie?  Well this is his younger brother.  We'll call him Benedict.

Isn't he such a sweetie?  One of my close friends since I met him over 2 years ago.  The man is one of the most respectable guys I know.  Athlete.  Scholar.  Gentleman.  Secret Agent.  Just completely admirable in all aspects of life.  He's currently attending grad school in Texas to become a pastor (He is also a fellow blogger, so be sure to follow him at Willistry.  It's good stuff) He's given me countless advice through the years, ranging from how to deal with heartbreak, to fixing my baseball swing, to how to be a good wingman.  We rely on many people in our lives to give us advice.  Some of  it useless.  Most of it beneficial.  But every once in a while, we are given advice that results in a complete shift in our personality...

The Art of Manning Up

Go ahead and read the Bible.  Or more specifically, the Gospels.  Matthew, Mark, Luke, John (Mary, if you're not a Catholic and adhere to the words of the Dead Sea Scrolls)  Each of these books give a similar, but different, account of the life of Jesus from the time Gabriel visited Mary, all the way up to His Crucifixion and Resurrection.  It's a detailed account of the life of Jesus: his childhood, his teachings, his miracles, and ultimately his bodily sacrifice for us (if you don't believe that, deal with it; it's my blog so leave your propaganda in the comments section).  Everything is accounted for, from his birthplace, to his disciples, to his conversation with Pontius Pilot.  No detail is unaccounted for...except for a 'brief' period between his early teens and late twenties.  That's over a decade of time that is never fully explained.  Who knows what he did?  Did he shepherd his neighbors flocks?  Contribute to the renovation of the Temple?  Spend his afternoons watching 'Real Housewives of Galilee'?  We don't know.  It's a mystery that theologists speculate about, and something that atheists expound about.  But one thing cannot be denied: there was an obvious maturation that happened from him being found preaching in the Temple in his teens to the time he was baptized in the Jordan by John.  He grew up.  He matured.  He became a man (albeit a divine one).

Growing up.  Manning up.  Getting a pair.  It's a process that every person, and more specifically, every guy needs to go through, even Chaz Bono.  It's that moment in life where you realize that the real world is there.  It's waiting, hoping, begging you to grab it by the balls and make it your own.  It's ready to accept you into the brotherhood of responsibility and accountability.  Apparently Enron and WorldCom never got that memo.

Growing up is part of human nature.  The problem with growing up is that around 75% of American adults aren't ready for it.  Feel free to correct me if that statistic is wrong, but my roommates feel it's a pretty accurate percentage and they're the closest thing I could find to a quorum.  It's not that Americans don't recognize growing up is a necessity.  It's just simply a process we don't want to do because we are being taken out of our comfort zone.  Like a new born coming into the world, or like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in The Simple Life.  Sometimes we just aren't ready for the responsibilities of growing up.  We enjoy living in Neverland (the Peter Pan version, not the Michael Jackson version...unless you happen to be Macaulay Culkin) But as Wendy said, 'It's time to grow up.'

Human beings are apt to change through their lives based on a number of circumstances.  Graduation, a promotion, a girlfriend, the list can go on and on and on.  But the problem is that just because you WANT to change for those things you find most important at that point in your life, doesn't guarantee you WILL change.  It requires, much to our dismay and resistance, a circumstance that is so real and important that we are willing to force ourselves to make a change that is counter intuitive to everything that has made us who we are.

Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic and excessive.  Just because you transition from a boy to a man doesn't mean you need to change what made you desirable in the first place.  It just means you need to be more responsible in using your abilities.  Just because someone is sad doesn't mean you have to say something to lighten the mood; silence can be just as necessary.  Just because a business deal fell through doesn't mean you need to find out how it wasn't your fault; Donald Trump has had more business venture failures than I've had jobs.  Sometimes you need to accept the situation as it is and deal with the consequences.

Consequences.  The word has such a negative connotation to it.  But sometimes, just because the situation seems to be going against you in the present doesn't mean it won't payoff in the future.  You say something honest that pisses a girl off?  She will appreciate your honesty two months down the road.  You screw up on a report for your job?  You make sure to double check that paragraph on the next report.  You are able to adapt to the situation that presents itself and accept the consequences rendered.  Lets face it.  No one is perfect, and if you think you are, you're more delusional than those who thought episodes I-III of Star Wars were decent (Revenge of the Sith was alright, but I digress).

When it comes down to it, we can't rest on our laurels of what we think will work.  As we get older, those we interact with get older as well.  Just because your charm and work ethic worked five years ago doesn't mean it will have the same effect now.  Look at the last Indiana Jones movie.  But here is the kicker.  If you receive criticism for not being a man in a situation, you inherently have no choice but to adapt in order to change peoples perception of you.  They can include, but are obviously nowhere near limited to:

-Omitting the semi-flamboyant pinkie wave (It was cute when you thought $100 in your bank account made you rich)
-Growing a backbone and telling the girl you're into that she is, indeed, sometimes a bitch (If you don't hold them accountable for their actions, they'll walk all over you)
-Standing up to your boss when he asks where those TPS reports are? (Because we all know it feels good to be a gangster)

Changing yourself like this is something that must be consciously done.  Keeping yourself in check from your old habits and emphasizing the metamorphoses that is taking place before everyones eyes, that's what people are drawn to, both professionally and personally.  Childish innocence and ignorance are great...when you were actually a child.  But becoming a man forces us to throw aside those feelings of being care-free and anti-consequence.  It requires a certain steeling of the soul, because regardless of what situation will present itself, the change from boy to man is going to hurt.  It will hurt your mind, body, soul, every romantic comedy cliche you can think of.  It's like the last third of the movie where the main character is presented with a challenge that will ultimately define who they are and lead the movie to a happy ending.  Unfortunately, real life is never that simple and the only happy endings that come that easily are from Asian masseuses.  But there is one movie cliche that can be used to describe the transition into manhood: with great power comes great responsibility.  You have the power to make the transformation from boy to man.  The only question that remains is are you ready to accept that responsibility?